So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
