she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
