Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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