Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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