the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
