i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
