its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
