is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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