he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
