redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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