Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
