i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
