she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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