do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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