I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Randomize
