I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
