Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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