Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
