College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
and she was petting her beer can
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Randomize
