remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
