I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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