So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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