How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
