I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
