I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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