I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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