Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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