He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
