i was born a porn star she said
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize