Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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