she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
