He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
