took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Also, beer. Big fan.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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