she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
