My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize
