no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
he fucked my hip out of place.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
