Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
