Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
