ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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