Where is the hickey?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We just shotgunned beers for America
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
