Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
