is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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