So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
