glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Your cock deserves a montage
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
PANTIES FOUND
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