oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
