Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
