I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
