apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
