i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
A+ Viking dick
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