Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
