my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
