I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
