As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
