she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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