i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
My penis needs a shock collar
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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