I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
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