I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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