OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
