im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize